SWIMMING IN A SEA OF SHARKS

Its been over a year since I peeped into the online social media profile, the public display of an individual I had moved 3,000 miles for to dedicated years of my professional/personal life too.
Without the journey through this experience I would not have connected with hundreds of people that have effected my life in a multitude of ways albeit personally, professionally and spiritually. Although some of the connections have painful ties, most have been rewarding and life changing.

The level of stress I experienced due to keeping a handful of heavy heads above water on a daily basis had literally stolen years from my living a healthy life.
The insurmountable challenge of wellness do to stress related health conditions, brought on solely by my lack of ability to prioritize the care of myself before others, has been overcome without the use of tactical Psychic Vampirism, mass manipulation or the abuse of privilege.

This journey was a self discovered puzzle piece in a vast picture that is never ending.
I reflect on the years past and the sacrifices made. The most valuable lesson in all of this has been simple.
If you choose to swim in a sea of Sharks you must be a strong swimmer and trust no one. 
Sharks have one priority and that is in seeking blood. Seek and destroy.

You're either a strong swimmer moving amongst predators or you're Shark, a creature of destruction, master of manipulation and cunning with insidious means.

MY KINGDOM NORTH

Let me bring you into the world I have newly entered or rather thrown myself into.
For years Notes From The Dark Side have been about my adventures/misadventures all the while living in Los Angeles, New York City, small town Connecticut. The West Coast of Norway is where I currently reside and what a place it is.
This BLOG isn't terribly old so if you can imagine the rapid changes in my life, the innumerable months, days and years, I can barely keep up with my own thoughts ergo the anxiety of succinctly sharing my thoughts as well experiences has been daunting.

As per request my readers would like to have an insight into the personal remodeling of my life at this time.
It often crosses my mind what would I think if I read all of my own stories, rants and anecdotes through another persons consciousness. I often experience anxiety reading them back to myself.

Have you met anyone that wanted to view the world through your eyes? Even for a moment?
So often I put myself out there into the Universe and receive positive reviews, affirmations and conscious raising encouragement. Validation that my exemplary service to those who read for whichever reason they choose. With this being said, I shall bring to you stories of my journey through the Kingdom North, Norge.
For those of you who are newly coming into my personal microcosm, I can give you this insight:
This is Notes From the Dark Side, it may be conveyed as morose, depressive, disheartening or illumination , you decide.

Join me.....
 
Traveling to a Nordic country is a humbling experience for me as I am constantly comparing/contrasting and often with the feelings of utter crotchetiness. There is a laundry list of differences and for those seasoned in traveling to distant lands it may not be such a surprise, what I am about to divulge that is.

Being in a Christian country (forget about the recent separation from church and State - scoffs) it has its deep routes and those effect children, teens and adults in ways they don't even make connection to, it's simply extrapolated. This moves into a territory ill discuss another time but it has something to do with everything being shut down on Sundays, additionally purchasing wine/liquor from a Government sanction.... for a start.

So you're shit-faced after a night at the Rock N' Roll bar and its 4:30am. Time to hail a cab waiting just steps from the corner and you decide to strut into the Bodega to get a fresh veggi sandwich made by your favorite counter dude named Jose' whom you swear you would kiss because he knows exactly what you want every time you walk in the door, no matter the condition you are in. If you look extra cute Jose tosses in a bag of chips to top off the samich'.
A quick journey over the bridge or boulevard depending on which city you're in. BOOM! You are home and with money still in your pocket, (thank you Bartender for all the buy backs) armed with chips & an avocado/veg samich'.
Reality check: That was NYC. That was Hollywood.

So you're tipsy after a night at the Rock N' Roll bar and it's 1:15am. time to hail a taxi (Mercedes) and if you're lucky there sits one a several blocks away (Fhew! I didn't wear heels!)
There isn't a place to get a snack, nothing in sight although ive heard of these rogue Kebab stands (what wonders that does for a Veggi/Vegan) A long journey on the 'midnight' bus that costs quadruple that of a regular bus, should you choose this option depending on how much money you have pissed away in a few short hours (literally pissed) You stare at your iPhone bus app praying transport comes for you quickly......
 if you can read it correctly. SHIT! No bus after 12:30am.
Reality check: Cities of Norway.

 ''Fun'' is a relative term. What I consider fun is often writing what comes to mind while listening to some Medieval  Renaissance music with a glass of wine in tow. Often I consider sitting alone in a library amongst thousands of books in another language I can barely read.... fun. Listening to Vincent Price's rare audio catalog of  'Tales of Witchcraft' or his audio Edgar Allen Poe stories is fun.
Being alone is fun.

Being from New York City (my prime adult years) has gifted me with the ability to endure and flourish in chaos. When the atmosphere around you flows in some unhesitating order, albeit chaotic and slightly dangerous you develop supreme living skills. I find calmliness in disparagement.

Living in Hollywood (my innovational years) has brought me a knowledge of the human habitude (indigenous to LA or transplantdom.) As a professional Artist and Artist Manager it is clutch to inhabit the skills of a well-read social chameleon. ZING!!! I can employ such skills anywhere. Perhaps.

I have decided to Come to Norway, the King of the Scandinavian countries for several reasons.

-I almost died of Heart failure in 2012 and watched months wash away not forgetting my savings. Boo Hoo.
-A change of atmosphere (climate, barometric pressure, etc.) might be good for a gal who has had 3 surgeries (and counting) inside her face.
-Growing tired of the Hollywood Rock Stars who always stole my best black eyeliner and unsolicitly gifted me with sluttish 'clothes' to squire me about the Walk of Fame on a hot Friday night. [see above] imagine the deep connection there.
-A desperate need to collaborate with other creatives who live on the very same page as I do, the page that is often overlooked.
-The myth of the Viking culture is very well alive if you know where to look. Excellent for any super dork like myself.
- Did I mention that the most beautiful men reside here?


 OH! I am also shooting/writing a book of the underground/social Norwegian Black Metal culture.
 

I could write for days on this subject.
Keleigh Black in the Great Kingdom North.

I will continue to do so.

THE UNFOLDING

On this day exactly one year ago I collapsed at home, alone and somewhat frightened.
This little show had landed me a few blocks from home in the Beverly Hills, Cedar Sinai Hospital, I had my very own room for 5 days in the fancy Cardiac Ward no less (A frightful bill in which I have yet to open.) 
I had just lost an immediate family member that week as well the opportunity to attend the services.  I made that one faithful call and my travel shy Mother collected me in the hospital after re-routing her flight from the funeral. She stayed beside me for several nights and even cut my food once I was cleared for 'solids'.
and believe me I have silly photos for everything.

On this day 365 days later I sit staring out my window in the country, thousands of miles from Beverly Hills and its raining, thundering and the lightening is hammering down with purpose. Its always funny when you ask the Universe for infinite wisdom ..... or a just a little sign to affirm your private inquiries (those who you dare not share with others.) We went from crystal clear skies to fleeting torrential power, my inquires affirmed. 
I ponder what I have done in the past 365 days and I am sure I have gained some momentum along the way.
Could I have been more productive? Was it necessary to cast off handfuls of people I once had on my team?  Have I changed or influenced anybodies lives and most importantly has anyone changed mine....
Now these not so little things swirl over your head like a goddamn mini vortex and if you can become still enough in the right place.... answers come to you.

Three hundred and fifty days come to pass and I loose my Father. Three hundred and fifty plus days and I loose my Uncle. Three hundred and sixty days have arrived and I loose a friend.

I often wonder if my daily thoughts, emotional energy and intention were to be calculated and contained into a material object what would be the result. Atomic Bomb?
I often daydream about my thoughts, emotional energy, and intentions, I believe the physical manifestation might solve the little issue on world peace. I personally would like to materialize a mystical Unicorn.

I imagine myself with an old woven basket and I am collecting one thing for each day of my three hundred and sixty five day journey. I would certainly find apprehension looking on the bottom of the basket, also into the middle and I am unsure what is on the top because in reality I cannot tell one from the other.
365 days is just over 360 degrees so what has come to pass? What has come to fruition? Now I stand in the same place emotionally as I had this day last year.
I do not face the dangers I had then. I do not face the unknown as I have. I do not foresee the future as I hadn't then. 

In 365 days I had been seen by 17 medical professionals. In 365 days I have had over 60 medical tests completed. In 365 days I have accumulated a 6 figure number worth of superfluous medical bills.

At the end of the 365 days I have triumphed over and unraveled the riddle to my Heart.
At the end of the 365 days I have acquired more knowledge than the last year, throw in the one before that too. Here I sit planning the 1st day of the next three hundred and sixty four days.


Ehhh its just numbers.




What do you have in your basket?

LORDOSIS - BOW TO ME

ALL HAIL TO THE MIGHTY CERVICAL SPINE
THE ANATOMY OF OTHER MAMMALS IS INFERIOR
YOUR EXCESSIVE LORDOTIC CURVATURE IS ALSO 
CALLED HYPERLORDOSIS HOLLOW AND IS ..... HALLOW..
BOW TO ME..... BOW TO ME! 
LORDOSIS!
LORDOSIS!


(SHOULD BE A SONG NO?)

Years back I had the pleasure of working with one of my favorite Norwegian Black Metal bands SATYRICON.  It is always a big ol' bitch working with someone/thing you love/admire because of the added pressure to churn out something incredible that you love.  
Ill never forget that evening... I had an assistant with me who ive known for a decade plus who was keeping me and my equipment safe from the opening band of thrashers as it were. If I remember correctly, I was standing 20 feet away (minimally) from opening bands and getting slammed against.
The first and only time Ive worked in this venue, total disappointment mind you.... then again at the time I would have travel to the conflagrant depths of HELL to work with SATYRICON (now simply flying to the Mother North does the trick).

I was brought into this to capture live guitar and live singer with zero chance of stage shooting due to stage production/props [this is where I no longer work OFF STAGE or with very RARE exception] ...... (this is where I add the part about ''ITS FUCKING SATYRICON AND I WOULD BATTLE A SEA OF 4 HEADED SEA DRAGONS FROM THE MURKY DEPTHS OF SEA-HELL TO SHOOT THEM BACK THEN... AND NOW'')

Epic intro... bands starts.... HELL breaks loose.... Professional Photographer Keleigh Black gets killer shots of of of her favorite bands in for guitar company in.... 
*An action packed play by play:
MY TRIPLE' OF JACK DANIELS SPILLS EVERYWHERE::::: NOOOOOO!!!:::::I TURN LOOKING FOR 'ASSISTANT' (HOLDING GEAR OVER HEAD)::: I FEEL A LEAD-LIKE  KICK TO BACK OF THE HEAD/NECK:::: PUKED JACK DANIELS ON SELF::: MORE PHOTOS:::*FIST PUMP*::::PHOTOS::::PUKE:::::*HEADBANG*::::::PUKE:::::DONE!

Here comes the guitarist of KORN and girl friend to say hello (almost puked) ''gotta go dude!''
Here comes legendary photographer Dean Karr (who I was bringing home?) ''gotta go!''
"OMFG I am going to DIE Brian (Assistant)!"

This story takes us to the Emergency room in Beverly Hills the following day after puking up green BILE all night (not the amazing Industrial band of ex fiance) I thought it was from rocking my ass off and drinking all night??? Wrong..... wrong.

Forward several years past a major Sinus/Nose surgery and Heart failure/treatments (current)
I am dealing with serious neurological issues that started in my early twenties..... in the early years of my photography (pre above mentioned show).

After countless Xrays/MRI's/CTScans/blood work and physical therapy (ongoing) with at home traction therapy (lovely torture device that pulls my head away from my spine daily) I have a totally FUCKED UP CERVICAL SPINE.  

Therapists, Neurologist, Internist, Radiologists all asking me the same thing, ''when did you have a head and neck accident?''... "I did not EVER have an accident"...''what is your occupation and have you ever had an injury or been hit in the head/neck?" ... "tons of times..... but this ONE time...... BIG time!!!!''

DIAGNOSIS?
Severe Lordosis of the Cervical Spine with bulging C-5/C-7 disks with additional disintegration/disease of the disks.


RESULT:
Injury sustained by severe impact to the right/back side of the head and neck with extreme force.

All this is causing neurological issues, tingling and numbness in my right hand, fingers and I am on a number of medications used for seizure patients. Is this all from one Norwegian Black Metal concert? probably NOT.... years of shooting? im certain. Is the massive damage done from that one faithful night? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY...... HAVE A LOOK DARLINGS.



                                              THE OPPOSITE OF A NORMAL SPINE

                                                        SATYR OF SATYRICON 2008

 


WATCH YOUR GOODS KIDS.......


http://www.sfexaminer.com/entertainment/music/2012/07/no-more-headbanging-mortal-slayer-frontman