This little show had landed me a few blocks from home in the Beverly Hills, Cedar Sinai Hospital, I had my very own room for 5 days in the fancy Cardiac Ward no less (A frightful bill in which I have yet to open.)
I had just lost an immediate family member that week as well the opportunity to attend the services. I made that one faithful call and my travel shy Mother collected me in the hospital after re-routing her flight from the funeral. She stayed beside me for several nights and even cut my food once I was cleared for 'solids'.
and believe me I have silly photos for everything.
On this day 365 days later I sit staring out my window in the country, thousands of miles from Beverly Hills and its raining, thundering and the lightening is hammering down with purpose. Its always funny when you ask the Universe for infinite wisdom ..... or a just a little sign to affirm your private inquiries (those who you dare not share with others.) We went from crystal clear skies to fleeting torrential power, my inquires affirmed.
I ponder what I have done in the past 365 days and I am sure I have gained some momentum along the way.
Could I have been more productive? Was it necessary to cast off handfuls of people I once had on my team? Have I changed or influenced anybodies lives and most importantly has anyone changed mine....
Now these not so little things swirl over your head like a goddamn mini vortex and if you can become still enough in the right place.... answers come to you.
Three hundred and fifty days come to pass and I loose my Father. Three hundred and fifty plus days and I loose my Uncle. Three hundred and sixty days have arrived and I loose a friend.
I often wonder if my daily thoughts, emotional energy and intention were to be calculated and contained into a material object what would be the result. Atomic Bomb?
I often daydream about my thoughts, emotional energy, and intentions, I believe the physical manifestation might solve the little issue on world peace. I personally would like to materialize a mystical Unicorn.
I imagine myself with an old woven basket and I am collecting one thing for each day of my three hundred and sixty five day journey. I would certainly find apprehension looking on the bottom of the basket, also into the middle and I am unsure what is on the top because in reality I cannot tell one from the other.
365 days is just over 360 degrees so what has come to pass? What has come to fruition? Now I stand in the same place emotionally as I had this day last year.
I do not face the dangers I had then. I do not face the unknown as I have. I do not foresee the future as I hadn't then.
In 365 days I had been seen by 17 medical professionals. In 365 days I have had over 60 medical tests completed. In 365 days I have accumulated a 6 figure number worth of superfluous medical bills.
At the end of the 365 days I have triumphed over and unraveled the riddle to my Heart.
At the end of the 365 days I have acquired more knowledge than the last year, throw in the one before that too. Here I sit planning the 1st day of the next three hundred and sixty four days.
Ehhh its just numbers.
What do you have in your basket?
