One thing to always expect is the lack of open mindedness I do often receive in passive aggressively masked comments; retorts from left field. What I do know is that much of my inspiration comes from the darker side of human existence and there is no shortage of Muses. I choose the people who are in my life making a conscious effort to exist amongst them weather it be for or a challenge or a paycheck. One gift that I have always had is the gift of seeing right through people and viewing the underlying desires they posses. The gift of observation is a curse. It is nearly effortless to connect behaviors to constant patterns while watching individuals struggle like a duck on water, seamless on the surface with wild legs kicking beneath them to a desired destination and quickly.
So you enter a zone such as Los Angeles California and discover all sorts of characters, similarly in lovely New York City. Major cities attract a variant of personalities all extreme in nature, how else will you survive? If you do not have the cult of personality traits you most certainly will gravitate towards them and cultivate into an entirely new creature.
Not many will ever except the metamorphism and trust that they are just the same grounded individual they always have been.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard "It will be ok" or"Everything will work out" not to forget my ultimate favorite.... "I (we) did what I (we) had to do..." I most certainly am not rich yet nor a grudge holder.
I am however, a Soothsayer, a deeply connected creature with an impeccable sense of smell for utter bullshit. So many people are living in an alternate reality created on hype that is built off of envy as a result of self disgust. I am sad because many don't even recognize it. Let the money roll in and the compliments flow... this is the only fuel some need to wake up in the morning.
So am I negative? Is all I focus on perpetuate negativity? Absolutely not. I myself am in-tuned and utterly discussed with the self imploding social experiment we are partaking in.
Horror films, violent programs and 'dark' music doesn't fuel my negativity (as stated by many) I am living in a real and very grim world. We all are.
Playing video games, watching childrens programs/films and pretending I am a pretty princess in bright colors while doing Yoga every morning after my green shake doesn't calm me or put me in a perfect world.
Reading a fictitious book such as the Bible created by delusional madmen while wearing a set of Mala beads after pruning my Bonsai trees doesn't thrust me into a majickal state of mind where the grim reality of our falling society doesn't exist.
I would ask those who are distracted so deeply with their personal goals to stop stepping on others to reach the top of your mystical mountain. You most certainly are going to tumble down head first with not a soul to save you at the bottom.
I have spent the last few years in a place so grim and fueled with selfishness that's mildly peppered with kindness that I have had to remove myself entirely in order to shed the layers.
I have retreated to the countryside for several months if not more, in order to focus myself and create a piece of art that may be so devastating and additionally life saving to many.
I will continue to speak my mind as the outside world enters my personal domain, if it resonates either positively or negatively..... do not scold me.
Take a look inside onlookers.
“The world says: "You have needs -- satisfy them. You have as much right as the rich and the mighty. Don't hesitate to satisfy your needs; indeed, expand your needs and demand more." This is the worldly doctrine of today. And they believe that this is freedom. The result for the rich is isolation and suicide, for the poor, envy and murder.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
